What my schedule is communicating to my family.
That’s it. That’s the number I came up with. That’s all there is. That’s all the time my family gets from my schedule. Of the 168 hours in a week, my family gets 33% of my time. It’s not near enough. It’s not near what they deserve, so I better make the most of it.
Before you think I’m the worse Dad or Husband in the World, let me clarify a few things:
1) I only counted hours “with” my family that we were awake. You can’t really engage with someone while they are snoring. So I counted sleeping as “away” from my family.
2) As a Husband and Father, part of my responsibility is to provide for my family, which is what I’m doing when I’m at work, away from my family. And as long as I have boundaries in place that allow me to keep a healthy work/life balance, I’m not neglecting my family for work.
So now it doesn’t seem SO BAD… except that the numbers above are based on a good week. A week I don’t have evening services, after hours appointments, hospital visits, conferences our church might be hosting or anything else that may come up in a pastor’s schedule.
The reality is, it could be worse. (I’d imagine if we all looked at our schedules, we all ran the numbers, 33% might be on the high end.)
But here’s the real question. Of that 33% of my week that my family does get, do they get 100% of me? Or do they have to share their time? Do they have to share their time with things like the TV, my email, my list of things I didn’t get done at the office, my frustration from how my week may have gone, or anything else that would communicate to them that they are not really the most important thing in my life?
I may be with them, but am I really there? Do my kids know they have 100% of their Daddy’s heart? Does my wife know that no one compares to her? My words may say it, but does my time, focus and attitude?
These are some of the things I’m asking myself. These are some of the questions I’m committing my time to answering. These are some of the questions I’m using to help focus my priorities.
Are there any questions you need to ask?